Serenity prayer

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I love the serenity prayer. It brings me peace and a better sense of perspective on life and whatever is on my mind. 

God grant me the serenity
to accept the things I cannot change;
courage to change the things I can;
and wisdom to know the difference.

I wish you a blessed, peaceful day ❤

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Frugality and times of crisis

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In a nutshell: Recently due to a severe family crisis frugality has been the absolute least of my concerns and basically went completely out the window.

The past 2.5 weeks have been some of the hardest of my life. Luckily this story ends well, but it was an extremely dire situation. A very, very close family member of mine (for privacy purposes I’m not going to say who) who is elderly had a very bad fall where they suffered a small skull fracture, brain bleeding and just massively not feeling well and were taken to the hospital by the paramedics.

To say this situation was terrifying for me is a massive understatement. I had to take an emergency flight out from the east coast and was just praying for them to be alive by the time I got there. It was the longest, most anxiety filled flight of my life (but thank God for the airplane that got me there!!). My beloved was first in the ICU then moved to the regular ward…and then after 4 days blessedly released from the hospital where they were deemed medically stable and that everything should heal.

I have been here ever since helping them with everything from eating, drinking, taking medicine, getting dressed, brushing their teeth, etc and just spending time together. Essentially just trying, very very slowly to get things back to normal.

I am immensely, hugely grateful that my beloved is recovering from an extremely scary and dire health crisis. It’s an absolute miracle and blessing from God. He is so full of mercy, love and compassion for us.

During this time me and my family have been eating a lot of take out. For awhile it was nearly every main meal. And this is why– this situation was so stressful that I simply was unable to cook and feed myself or anyone else and I could barely take care of myself. I was losing weight rapidly and was getting extremely low blood sugar…so I quickly realized, if I don’t eat, somehow, I will collapse and get very ill.

I was living on food from the hospital cafeteria, and after my family member was released from the hospital, living on take out from the local grocery store and restaurants. This is one of the few times in my life where there was simply no other option. It was a true emergency and I’ve been dipping into my emergency fund to take care of the costs.

Fortunately, life around here is slowly starting to normalize. My beloved is up and walking (a miracle in itself!!!) and starting to be more independent. My gratitude to God is profound and also witnessing the miracle of the body healing itself. It’s truly amazing.

I’m starting to cook a little more and eat less take out and hopefully over the next few days I can begin tracking my expenses more carefully. I’ve missed my Food Budget Friday updates, but sometimes life intervenes. Under normal circumstances I really try to avoid eating out…but this wasn’t at all normal. Thank goodness for the cafeterias and take out places that have fed me and my family over the past two weeks!!

My prayer is simply for my family member to have a full recovery, feel great, and return to their normally very social and active life ❤

Love this quote…

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“What you are is God’s gift to you; what you do with yourself is your gift to God.” – Danish proverb

This quote really touched my heart today. I’m so grateful for the gifts God has given me: life, family and friends, a roof over my head….I could go on forever.

This quote inspires me to honor God by working to do good in the world. He’s given all of us gifts and talents that can help to make our families, communities and world a happier, better place ❤

Staying consistent in daily life

flowers2I’m realizing more and more that for me a big part of healing my eating disorder is simply trying to be consistent with what I do and learning new healthy habits. There is nothing really glamorous or exciting about it, which is actually pretty nice.  I’m a person who thrives on structure and having a plan for the day.

However, this being said it’s something that I often struggle with greatly. I have to work hard at sticking to my plan for the day. I can have great intentions but if I’m not careful and mindful about what I’m doing I can easily spend hour after hour on the Internet, reading random stuff (usually the news which is depressing), watch tv endlessly, gorge myself on junk food, and then go to bed exhausted at 2am. I have spent many, many days (months? years?) of my life like this and it’s part of the bigger picture of what I’m trying to heal.

My binge eating is really just a symptom of a larger soul-based problem. Instead of bingeing to run away from my problems, I’m trying instead to seek God first and His love, and have a life of purpose, meaning and self-discipline where my soul is full and happy and I don’t need or want to binge anymore.

What does a healthy, consistent day looks like for me:

  • Eat 3 healthy meals, and 1 snack (if needed)
  • Pray and work on my spiritual life (read bible, attend bible study, etc)
  • Do basic housework, chores and self-maintenance: brush teeth, take a shower, make bed, wash dishes, buy groceries
  • Do work
  • Visit with family or meet a friend for coffee (once or twice a week)
  • Spend time outside in nature, if possible
  • Cook dinner
  • Read a book (and try not too watch too much tv, if any, honestly)
  • Go to sleep at a reasonable time

On the outside this looks like a normal healthy day, you know, maybe nothing special. But for me this is very specialThis represents a hugely successful day where I’ve taken proper care of myself, done my work, prayed and spent time with God, maybe met with a friend or family member and gone to bed on time. This is pretty much what an awesome day looks like for me.