Take a deep breath

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Everything is going to be ok. Keep putting one foot in front of the other and let God carry your burdens for you.

“Come to me, all you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest. Take my yoke upon you and learn from me, for I am gentle and humble in heart, and you will find rest for your souls. For my yoke is easy and my burden is light.” Matthew 11:28-30, NIV

I need to hear this today and keep reminding myself that God is good and he has everything under control. I’ve been struggling with crushing anxiety and I’m realizing that I can’t control life and every outcome. I have to accept life on life’s terms. And my best hope is to turn everything over to God: my fear, anxiety, and worries about all the possible “what if’s” that can happen.

I really do believe that God loves me and each and every one of us deeply and will work everything out for our good.

I never forget my many, many blessings and despite this anxiety I am so very grateful for everything I have. I pray that in time I can continue to trust God more with everything and he will help me to heal this anxiety and turn it into hope, faith, joy and trust.

Back in the frugal saddle

groceries.JPGHi lovely readers,

I’m easing back into blogging after a rough couple of months. Luckily things are starting to calm down a little bit for me- totally by God’s grace.

I’ve really missed blogging and keeping up with my fellow bloggers. It’s nice to be back 🙂

I continue to love frugality and am motivated and excited to continue on my frugal journey. I’ve also been trying to recover from a serious bout of anxiety and depression around my family members recent illness; so I’m trying to focus my thinking also towards healing, peace, serenity and grace.

“And the peace of God, which surpasses all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus.” Philippians 4:7

I had a good shopping trip this afternoon and picked up the following:

  • Chicken breasts
  • Oat cereal
  • Strawberry jam
  • Salami
  • Deli turkey slices
  • Two boxes of granola bars
  • Onions
  • Baked potato chips, bbq flavor
  • Non-dairy whipped topping

The grand total was: $25.44!! I love discount shopping!

See you all soon 🙂

Frugality and times of crisis

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In a nutshell: Recently due to a severe family crisis frugality has been the absolute least of my concerns and basically went completely out the window.

The past 2.5 weeks have been some of the hardest of my life. Luckily this story ends well, but it was an extremely dire situation. A very, very close family member of mine (for privacy purposes I’m not going to say who) who is elderly had a very bad fall where they suffered a small skull fracture, brain bleeding and just massively not feeling well and were taken to the hospital by the paramedics.

To say this situation was terrifying for me is a massive understatement. I had to take an emergency flight out from the east coast and was just praying for them to be alive by the time I got there. It was the longest, most anxiety filled flight of my life (but thank God for the airplane that got me there!!). My beloved was first in the ICU then moved to the regular ward…and then after 4 days blessedly released from the hospital where they were deemed medically stable and that everything should heal.

I have been here ever since helping them with everything from eating, drinking, taking medicine, getting dressed, brushing their teeth, etc and just spending time together. Essentially just trying, very very slowly to get things back to normal.

I am immensely, hugely grateful that my beloved is recovering from an extremely scary and dire health crisis. It’s an absolute miracle and blessing from God. He is so full of mercy, love and compassion for us.

During this time me and my family have been eating a lot of take out. For awhile it was nearly every main meal. And this is why– this situation was so stressful that I simply was unable to cook and feed myself or anyone else and I could barely take care of myself. I was losing weight rapidly and was getting extremely low blood sugar…so I quickly realized, if I don’t eat, somehow, I will collapse and get very ill.

I was living on food from the hospital cafeteria, and after my family member was released from the hospital, living on take out from the local grocery store and restaurants. This is one of the few times in my life where there was simply no other option. It was a true emergency and I’ve been dipping into my emergency fund to take care of the costs.

Fortunately, life around here is slowly starting to normalize. My beloved is up and walking (a miracle in itself!!!) and starting to be more independent. My gratitude to God is profound and also witnessing the miracle of the body healing itself. It’s truly amazing.

I’m starting to cook a little more and eat less take out and hopefully over the next few days I can begin tracking my expenses more carefully. I’ve missed my Food Budget Friday updates, but sometimes life intervenes. Under normal circumstances I really try to avoid eating out…but this wasn’t at all normal. Thank goodness for the cafeterias and take out places that have fed me and my family over the past two weeks!!

My prayer is simply for my family member to have a full recovery, feel great, and return to their normally very social and active life ❤

Making a U-turn

photo.jpgThe other day I wrote a post very honestly discussing how much I struggle with sugar. Basically I said that I planned to never eat sugar again.

While everything I said was completely true, fair and honest…something didn’t sit quite right with me. And this morning I realized what it is: It was my all-or-nothing thinking, and perfectionist tendencies rearing their ugly head trying to make me do something that is quite likely impossible for me. It’s my classic eating disorder way of thinking.

The whole point of keeping this blog is so I can be honest about my successes, failures and growth along the way. My journey to healing is essentially an on-going trial and error for me to see what works and what doesn’t.

Healing -from anything- just takes time and has it’s own natural process. I don’t want to get in my own way by placing all kinds of restrictions on myself, however well intentioned they may be.

By my saying I “can’t” eat something and I’m “not allowed” all that does is keep me from getting well. It keeps me from having a normal, healthy relationship with food….because after all it’s just food.

So as of today I’m taking all of the food restrictions off and simply continuing on my healing journey to hopefully establish a healthy relationship with food ❤