I’m finding a big part of healing my eating disorder is all about three things: accountability, taking responsibility and working towards changing my behavior. After all, no one is going to heal this for me!
What I have started to do this month is to make a note in my journal each day if I binged or not, and a couple notes about how the day went. Was it an easier day? A harder day? If it was a harder day, why was that? Knowing the “why” is really, really important for helping me see what I’m doing that’s working and what’s not.
So how is this month going so far?
I’ve binged 5 out of 18 days so far. Although that seems high I think it’s pretty good for me. At least I’m not bingeing every day…so its definitely progress! Most of the binges were also earlier in the month.
Looking back at my notes I see the areas I’ve been struggling with the most are: overeating processed carbohydrates (bread, chips, cookies), excessive Internet reading (mostly the news), social anxiety (I often eat too much when I’m out with friends) and general stress/anxiety.
Honestly though, I’m so grateful that I’m keeping this record! The days and weeks easily start to become a bit of a “blur” for me and I forget what I’ve been up to. Having these notes is awesome to be able to keep track of my behavior around food and try and correct myself when things start to become difficult.
I highly recommend keeping a journal for anything you’re working on!!
My long-term goal is to heal my eating disorder and to not binge anymore. I know that I will need to manage it for life, and I will likely always have a tendency to binge but I really do want to heal my eating disorder.
Step by step! Progress not perfection!